This is a list of all the quotes I've collected over time (for a fair number of years). I know there's a problem with the drop down selection box containing more than it should. I'm trying to tweak it so it lists only the people who have quotes attributed to them on this site, but for the moment it's listing every person that has any kind of content linked to them on this site. You can, however, click the name of the person on a quote to get a list of just the quotes by them.
| Quote | Person | Added | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Atheism is a non-prophet organization. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car." | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done" | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago | ||
| Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. | George Carlin | 51 weeks 4 days ago |