We continue on from my first set of pilot reviews to the next batch. Again, the order of these is nothing more than the order in which they were watched. Unlike the first batch of reviews, which were all thumbs up reviews, these will not be so lucky.
And of course, I’ll take another opportunity to plug ABC’s Pushing Daisies again. I’ve watched the pilot a half dozen times now and I never tire of it. This pilot is an instant classic and I anxiously await the launch of the series. So let’s take my highest praise of Pushing Daisies and use it as a segue to this other end of the spectrum…
ABC: Cavemen (1/10)
What happens when you take a fairly lame series of commercials, decide to make a TV series very loosely based on them, and also give said series a painfully obvious social commentary? You get an unfunny, embarrassingly terrible TV series, that’s what you get. How in the world did a talented actor like John Heard get talked into being in this piece of crap series? Even as a smaller role, he should hang his head in deepest shame for even having his name anywhere in the credits. Heck, I regret having WATCHED this pilot. The amount of embarrassment I’d have if I had actually appeared in it would be really insufferable. Then again, as least I would have been paid. Seriously, this is one of the worst pilots I’ve ever seen. I find it difficult to accurately describe JUST how bad this one is. People have to work their hardest to make something this staggeringly awful. This thing makes pretty much every reality TV series out there seem like high art. There’s no way any of the myriad pilots out there that weren’t picked up would have been 1% as bad as this thing. Steer clear of this gigantic turd at all costs. Ick. Yuck. Gaack. Ptooey.
CBS: Cane (3/10)
I’m not entirely sure what the ultimate goal of this show will be, other than an attempted Latino version of a mafia series. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate mafia stories. I despise The Sopranos (It’s impossible to be indifferent to a show that is always in your face no matter how much you try to ignore it). I despise the Godfather movies. This series is actually better than either of those, in my warped method of evaluating such things. My reasoning for such a ranking is that this series is rather aimless and benign. It’s a bit melodramatic, but not aggressively so, like most mob stories. Most any of the material is simply a more laid back, derivative version of it’s inspirations. Sure, they’ve put the cultural spin on it, but it’s still the same old, rehashed story. We have two powerful families who hate each other, and always will. We have sibling rivalry between those who are capable of the power they are fighting for and those who aren’t. I’ll take a definite pass on this one. At least it wasn’t actively annoying. Pick a mafia cliche and it’s hear in the slightly different Latino form…
NBC: Lipstick Jungle (3/10)
A series that seems to have no shame in the fact that it’s trying to be a high power version of Sex In The City, this show is not spectacularly bad or anything, but is all manner of inadequate. Featuring a fairly talented cast, in other circumstances, this series is underwhelming in almost every way. It has one redeeming scene, featuring one of the main characters (as well as us in the audience) gob smacked at the size of a wealthy dude’s bed. The rest of it you’ve seen before. Along with the Sex In The City influence, they’ve thrown in minor sprinkles of Ugly Betty & The Devil Wears Prada. If this series is a success in the ratings, I can guarantee that it will skew 99.85% female. I don’t know, perhaps they can make this series work. It does seem to have a pretty ambitious production quality, so it should be able to steer clear of some of the soap opera styled shortcomings that the material could fall prey to. And it is well cast, so perhaps it just needs to hit it’s stride, or at least get some writers who know how to write more than stereotyped relationship plots and thinly veiled female empowerment preachifying.
CBS: The Big Bang Theory (7/10)
While the typical Hollywood approach to portraying nerds is overtly stereotyped in this series, it does feature some witty dialog, nice comedic timing and a couple good performances. I imagine most of the strong aspects of the show are thanks to creator/producer Chuck Lorre (Dharma & Greg, Two & A Half Men, etc). The two main nerd characters are portrayed well. The couple other nerd friends are cast adequately enough. The hot neighbor is so-so, and might benefit from being recast before it goes to series. I’ll give this show a chance when it goes to air. I don’t expect it to be a great show, but it might manage to remain an amusing enough distraction.